They say "Rome wasn't built in a day"..and a bitch can't be created overnight. Generally, I'm a shy person in the midst of new people. I can't stand the thought of parties, as I don't dance, and up until recently, I've been a prime candidate for the TV show "What Not To Wear". But I did say I was going to challenge myself in 2008, so I decided to go to a party that a friend told me about on Friday night.
It turns out that 4 friends from school were also going to the party, so I had a few "anchors" in the crowd to talk to. I didn't want to spend all night with them though, so I got a drink and started walking around. I was wearing a tastefully sexy outfit with heels (I may walk around looking like hell on a regular basis, but I know what looks good. lol.), and I noticed a few admiring glances. Nobody said anything, but there was definitely some eye contact and a few "hellos" as I walked through the crowd.
About an hour later I decided to get another drink. As I was leaving the bar, I was approached by a pretty attractive guy. He introduced himself and we started talking. Next thing I know, we're making our way to the dance floor (yikes!). I did a little 2-step with him and we ended up talking and laughing for the next few hours. This was way more than I expected, so I was content with just saying good night and leaving it at that.
In this situation a bitch would NOT have talked to the same guy all night. A bitch would have thanked him for his time after 15-20 minutes and moved on to find someone else. A real bitch may not even have given him her phone number. She might have told him to look her up online or something. She wouldn't have been impressed by him following her around like he was really interested, and she wouldn't have gotten hyped up because her friends were asking questions about him (and why he seemed so interested) all night.
But because I'm a bitch-in-training, and I was giddy off the alcohol and attention...and the fact that I haven't been that close to a guy in a while (packed like a sardine on the train in the morning doesn't count) ...I broke ALL the rules of the game. I talked to him all night. I exchanged #s with him. I laughed at his corny jokes. I (probably) blushed when he complimented me on my scarf. I (foolishly) told him I'd been chillin' alone all night and "no, people haven't been hitting on me all night". I let him walk me to the train station (at least I declined to hold his hand...even though it was cold as hell and he made a comment about holding hands). I shouldn't have taken his "just checking to see if you got in safely" text message as anything other than due diligence. As a matter of fact, I should have erased his # right after (just to be on the safe side). But instead I responded all cutesy and thanked him for checking up on me.
It turns out that 4 friends from school were also going to the party, so I had a few "anchors" in the crowd to talk to. I didn't want to spend all night with them though, so I got a drink and started walking around. I was wearing a tastefully sexy outfit with heels (I may walk around looking like hell on a regular basis, but I know what looks good. lol.), and I noticed a few admiring glances. Nobody said anything, but there was definitely some eye contact and a few "hellos" as I walked through the crowd.
About an hour later I decided to get another drink. As I was leaving the bar, I was approached by a pretty attractive guy. He introduced himself and we started talking. Next thing I know, we're making our way to the dance floor (yikes!). I did a little 2-step with him and we ended up talking and laughing for the next few hours. This was way more than I expected, so I was content with just saying good night and leaving it at that.
In this situation a bitch would NOT have talked to the same guy all night. A bitch would have thanked him for his time after 15-20 minutes and moved on to find someone else. A real bitch may not even have given him her phone number. She might have told him to look her up online or something. She wouldn't have been impressed by him following her around like he was really interested, and she wouldn't have gotten hyped up because her friends were asking questions about him (and why he seemed so interested) all night.
But because I'm a bitch-in-training, and I was giddy off the alcohol and attention...and the fact that I haven't been that close to a guy in a while (packed like a sardine on the train in the morning doesn't count) ...I broke ALL the rules of the game. I talked to him all night. I exchanged #s with him. I laughed at his corny jokes. I (probably) blushed when he complimented me on my scarf. I (foolishly) told him I'd been chillin' alone all night and "no, people haven't been hitting on me all night". I let him walk me to the train station (at least I declined to hold his hand...even though it was cold as hell and he made a comment about holding hands). I shouldn't have taken his "just checking to see if you got in safely" text message as anything other than due diligence. As a matter of fact, I should have erased his # right after (just to be on the safe side). But instead I responded all cutesy and thanked him for checking up on me.
The next day I sent him a text just to say hello. On Sunday he responded that he was having trouble sleeping, had just learned of a death in his family, and was going out of town the next day. About 30 minutes later I decided to give him a call of the "sorry for your loss" variety. Call me old-fashioned, but a text reading "sry 4 ur loss" or something similar seemed tacky. That was the last I heard from him until a "Happy Holidays!!!" text on Tuesday. I responded with a "Happy Holidays to you as well" text a few calculated hours later. The old me might have called him back. But considering that I've already been more friendly than a bitch probably should have been, I decided to spare myself the humiliation and just erase his #. Maybe he is really going through something and doesn't want to be bothered. Maybe he's keeping me on the "team" and intends to text me every so often just to find out if I'm still around. Either way, I'm done. Now I'm kicking myself for spending the whole night talking to him and then having an expectation (no matter how slight) that something (like even a phone call) might come from it. I suspect that I may be hearing from him (via text) again at some random point in the future.
In the meantime, I have set a goal to go to AT LEAST one party/social function per month; to not spend all night talking to the same person at the next function; and to not give out my number anymore. I have a pretty public job. If you know my name, you can find me online. The truly interested will go the extra mile and look me up. Hmph.
In the meantime, I have set a goal to go to AT LEAST one party/social function per month; to not spend all night talking to the same person at the next function; and to not give out my number anymore. I have a pretty public job. If you know my name, you can find me online. The truly interested will go the extra mile and look me up. Hmph.
Anywho...have you ever given/taken a number at a party or elsewhere "just because?" What happened?
1 comment:
I've never asked for a number at a party or been asked for my number at a party. *sigh* lol
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